Seeking Peace

As someone who has lived with anxiety for most of my life, I am looking to seek more activities that bring me joy. Writing has always brought me joy. The process of writing is so peaceful, bit with a mind that is running a million miles a minute and a to-do list that will not quit, having the neurons to fire creatively is far less than ideal. So many barriers. I teach writing daily and love the intricacies of written language, but really my proportion on writing to paper work is at least 1:10 if not smaller. I wonder – how can I make writing a bigger part of my life. It is so important to me and want it to be that important to kids. I have to admit the pistons are not firing. I am attempting to make time daily even if that time appears random in thought. I love my life, but I feel the need to create. Doubt sets in – will I do it correctly. Teachers focus heavily. Will my characters be entertaining? Will the print on the page inspire others? At my school, our motto is to LEAD. GROW, and INSPIRE. Right now I feel like I LEAD at school, but maybe could do better if I was able to have a free minute to study my passions. Obviously there is so much growth – as a published writer – and how to grow into my true self, my written identity. Lastly, inspiration. That is what is lacking. How can I inspire our future writers, if I am too busy working toward acronym completion, notes, and all the other necessary, but stifling tasks that are required of educators today? How do I become Mr. Holland, the teacher who was over stressed in writing his symphony, teaching kids, somewhat MORE reluctantly than me, ending up to see that he had inspired others to create their own symphonies? Where is that inspiration? How do I bottle it, contain it, and sustain it?