The Thought that Goes Bump In the Night

It was one of those dreams, the kind that linger all day, and begs you to address it. I had one of them a few months ago and it was the weirdest dream about a hurricane. I knew I had a tough year comingĀ  up, but despite my dream research online, I was sure that I was wrong. This year will be great, despite my battle with depression. This silly hurricane in the dream was a wisp of wind, a short traveler that would only be passing through. In the dream, I was trying to get to higher ground, to get away from the fray.

This morning I woke with the same type of troubling dream, one that my psyche would not let go. In my dream, I was at my grandma’s funeral, a shell of an event with a sense of masked faces. There were hundreds of them, though I knew only a few. I was comforted by their presence and sensed the support and comfort emanating from their coming and going. Even though I don’t recall what they said, I felt loved. I was not alone. In the dream, I had strong sense of having boyfriend, and I saw people from my long ago high school past. My immediate family was there.

The reality is that I believe in the power of the mind to process, warn, and help me navigate my world. Not every single dream means something, but these types of dreams have held a reality to me that have helped me guide my emotions. So this morning, I wonder if the hurricane is over, and what type of support I will be need. Both dream archetypes are that of change. Although I am restless, my direction is one of which I am unsure. Hopefully the storm will bring a happy change, and the sun will shine as my friends and family support me in the change. I wonder what I want to process, but can’t in my waking hours.


Shark Tank

Tonight, I am watching the TV show Shark Tank. As I observe all of these people putting it ALL on the line – money, heart, soul – on products that may or may not be successful. At the tender age of 40+, I still don’t know what my Shark Tank moment is. Do you? I wonder, if given more time, and energy, what am I willing to dream about. I think a lot of time, in the middle of the daily march of time and responsibilities, we lose the power to dream. As I sit here, my to do list grows, my bills climb, and somehow I stop to write and wonder what the possibilities are. I love my life, with an amazing career and work that can only be verbalized as a calling. I teach kids. I’ve taught hundreds of them with more adventure and fulfillment than you could ever imagine. I know they love and appreciate me, but with the state of education, as parents and news agencies talk about disrespect of teachers, thinking that they are adding an awareness, they are actually perpetuating a sense of disrespect.

Think about it – 20 years ago, people thought – “Wow, you are choosing to be a saint. You will make no money, and work thankless hours, bless you.”

Now, with social media and the continuation of this discussion, it has become a very public and nasty debate. The facts are the same. You cannot raise a family, without a dual income as a teacher in many states. Many teachers pay for materials themselves, and work some of the longest and worst paid hours of any “profession.” Now it is all over the social network, and many people support the struggle. The pain is when people get on this no consequence media and say things about teacher and their choices. (They could be lawyers).

When did it become less noble and more stupid to be the change agents that we are. I was recently personally taken aback when teachers were on the cover of Time magazine, highlighting that they often take second jobs, third jobs, to be able to survive in the area of their “calling,” I sat in silent surprise as there were as many people posting to insult teachers as support them. They called teachers lazy, uneducated (havenon- proficient kids, so they must be). They are clearly uninformed in making their career choices. Then they called us whiners – whining because our retirement is being taken away, our futures are questionable with vouchers, accountability, and lower than cost of living raises of other professions, and ultimately a lack of respect.

I wonder if I went on Shark Tank and told them my dream, teaching without the disrespect of testing, more ability to learn myself, and the best tech and support for THEIR growing workforce, I wonder if I would have a “deal,” I like to think I would.